I am sure that all of this is true in principle -- that setting up and adhering to systems is (potentially) the answer to the chaos of procrastination.
But -- and there's always a "but" -- I've been discovering, at the age of 82 and as a pretty severe hoarder, that the most likely explanation for a lifetime of difficulty in meeting deadlines, or confining my interests to achievable goals, or confining my possessions to available space, seems to be traits of AuDHD exacerbated by childhood trauma.
And I'm not seeking excuses: only to understand WHY so many of these traits -- which could also be called "procrastination" -- have made my life so difficult for so long: with a view to doing something about them (if it's not far too late, with chronic pain and fatigue also to contend with).
Why, for example, do I dream of having everything perfectly organised and cross referenced in an impeccable information system -- but also have huge resistance to recording anything at all in a diary?
Beyond its blank pages being a good way to miss listening to the live episode of the latest expensive online course I bought, given SO MANY OTHER online courses and articles and references and books which I would miss out on, each time I actually attend to any one of them?
I hate "To do" lists too -- though I have a memory of the joy of scoring out and ticking things off one such TO DO list I kept prominently displayed on the kitchen table after my father died. This was mainly to demonstrate to his interfering, bad tempered sister who invited herself to stay with me (as sole executive of his Will, staying in his big house, trying to clear it for sale, get Grant of Probate etc etc etc) that there was a huge amount to do AND I WAS DOING IT despite her maddening interference and endless criticism.
Whereas anything she demanded to take over, to "help", she screwed up -- and it then took me twice as long to sort out after (thank god) she left, as if I'd done it myself in the first place.
And god forbid I ever actually USE the index cards I recently bought thousands of (mostly white, but in a range of colours too!). Bought remembering the last time I actually DID use such a paper-based system: for a failed (because its given scope was too vague and too enormous) academic research project.
Whereas now I'd just like to know where all my money is going, and from which account, and what Direct Debits I need to cancel. And what are the myriad of online courses I signed up for but never looked at again? I come across these courses sometimes: usually on adding a new one by the same outfit.
Or what are the thousands of books stuffing bookshelves that it's been years since I ccould physically reach? And never learnt or used a classification system to arrang by, nor even kept an A-Z author index?
Or ebooks randomly acquired but never categorised on Kindle? At least I come across those sometimes too, in Amazon searches: "Purchased..." (on some instantly forgotten date).
Given that it's surely necessary to master the neurobiology of dysregulation: of trauma and autism and ADHD, and the range of dietary, somatic etc ways of addressing dysregulated life systems, to overcome these lifelong traits... with so many courses, books, podcasts, and YouTube experts begging to explain it all to me. And with more references and revelations from Facebook etc Neurodivergent groups, that it's all yet MORE to keep up with.
Running exhaustedly on the hamster wheel of an information / attention economy that's always trying to bloody sell you something.
I've known for some time that hoarders very often have ADHD. And I've been discovering evidence for years that a range of ADHD traits describe me: including "hyperfocus" for things I get fixated on. But it also takes autism to explain some of the quirks of compulsive acquisition: eg fascination by sets of things -- nested plastic yoghurt pots which therefore cannot be thrown away, but cannot be recycled either.
So it's great news to me that our local Council will be collecting an extended range of recycling from May 2025: when I can at last (but with pangs of regret too) pass on (by then) nearly 13 years of nested plastic food containers of every shape and size, right up to nested trays for Christmas mince pies. Though I'm sure I could find a practical or aesthetic use for these very decorative items if I only tried a little harder...
I had to throw out a loftful of such stuff, 10 years'-worth, when I last moved house. I now have a 12 years'-plus accumulation, all washed and nested, but no loft to hide it in.
PS What looks like the best book to explain the dysregulated systems of AuDHD (and how to cope with them), by a psychiatrist who has overcome it in himself and become a specialist, is yet to be published.
I am sure that all of this is true in principle -- that setting up and adhering to systems is (potentially) the answer to the chaos of procrastination.
But -- and there's always a "but" -- I've been discovering, at the age of 82 and as a pretty severe hoarder, that the most likely explanation for a lifetime of difficulty in meeting deadlines, or confining my interests to achievable goals, or confining my possessions to available space, seems to be traits of AuDHD exacerbated by childhood trauma.
And I'm not seeking excuses: only to understand WHY so many of these traits -- which could also be called "procrastination" -- have made my life so difficult for so long: with a view to doing something about them (if it's not far too late, with chronic pain and fatigue also to contend with).
Why, for example, do I dream of having everything perfectly organised and cross referenced in an impeccable information system -- but also have huge resistance to recording anything at all in a diary?
Beyond its blank pages being a good way to miss listening to the live episode of the latest expensive online course I bought, given SO MANY OTHER online courses and articles and references and books which I would miss out on, each time I actually attend to any one of them?
I hate "To do" lists too -- though I have a memory of the joy of scoring out and ticking things off one such TO DO list I kept prominently displayed on the kitchen table after my father died. This was mainly to demonstrate to his interfering, bad tempered sister who invited herself to stay with me (as sole executive of his Will, staying in his big house, trying to clear it for sale, get Grant of Probate etc etc etc) that there was a huge amount to do AND I WAS DOING IT despite her maddening interference and endless criticism.
Whereas anything she demanded to take over, to "help", she screwed up -- and it then took me twice as long to sort out after (thank god) she left, as if I'd done it myself in the first place.
And god forbid I ever actually USE the index cards I recently bought thousands of (mostly white, but in a range of colours too!). Bought remembering the last time I actually DID use such a paper-based system: for a failed (because its given scope was too vague and too enormous) academic research project.
Whereas now I'd just like to know where all my money is going, and from which account, and what Direct Debits I need to cancel. And what are the myriad of online courses I signed up for but never looked at again? I come across these courses sometimes: usually on adding a new one by the same outfit.
Or what are the thousands of books stuffing bookshelves that it's been years since I ccould physically reach? And never learnt or used a classification system to arrang by, nor even kept an A-Z author index?
Or ebooks randomly acquired but never categorised on Kindle? At least I come across those sometimes too, in Amazon searches: "Purchased..." (on some instantly forgotten date).
Given that it's surely necessary to master the neurobiology of dysregulation: of trauma and autism and ADHD, and the range of dietary, somatic etc ways of addressing dysregulated life systems, to overcome these lifelong traits... with so many courses, books, podcasts, and YouTube experts begging to explain it all to me. And with more references and revelations from Facebook etc Neurodivergent groups, that it's all yet MORE to keep up with.
Running exhaustedly on the hamster wheel of an information / attention economy that's always trying to bloody sell you something.
I've known for some time that hoarders very often have ADHD. And I've been discovering evidence for years that a range of ADHD traits describe me: including "hyperfocus" for things I get fixated on. But it also takes autism to explain some of the quirks of compulsive acquisition: eg fascination by sets of things -- nested plastic yoghurt pots which therefore cannot be thrown away, but cannot be recycled either.
So it's great news to me that our local Council will be collecting an extended range of recycling from May 2025: when I can at last (but with pangs of regret too) pass on (by then) nearly 13 years of nested plastic food containers of every shape and size, right up to nested trays for Christmas mince pies. Though I'm sure I could find a practical or aesthetic use for these very decorative items if I only tried a little harder...
I had to throw out a loftful of such stuff, 10 years'-worth, when I last moved house. I now have a 12 years'-plus accumulation, all washed and nested, but no loft to hide it in.
PS What looks like the best book to explain the dysregulated systems of AuDHD (and how to cope with them), by a psychiatrist who has overcome it in himself and become a specialist, is yet to be published.